grind - B-Boys.com - Hip-Hop Forums

suga · 10-19-2008, 07:56 PM

i'm balls deep on the grind, i told my mama i'ma shine
told that hoe to get in line, turned a trick into a dime
yeah man, i'm gettin mine.. grew up broke takin' hand outs
my daddy gone astray, took my soul when he ran out
all for the best, left a hole in my chest
if i saw 'em today, probly strapped wit' a vest
pussy bitches turn to cowards at they best when they stress
so i quit smokin' sess, put myself to the test
my time is bein' pressed, competition gettin' vexed
we got hood dreams baby, wanna roll in that mercedes..
smack a bitch if she late to pay me, then charge her a late fee..
jesus christ' forsake me, this the road he paved me

jo nathan · 10-19-2008, 08:09 PM

i'm balls deep on the grind, i told my mama i'ma shine
told that hoe to get in line, turned a trick into a dime
nice use of internal rhyming, makes it flow a lot better, somewhat simplistic ideas, however
yeah man, i'm gettin mine.. grew up broke takin' hand outs
my daddy gone astray, took my soul when he ran out
decent rhyme, good flow
all for the best, left a hole in my chest
if i saw 'em today, probly strapped wit' a vest
overly simple rhyme
pussy bitches turn to cowards at they best when they stress
so i quit smokin' sess, put myself to the test
it seems like youre sacrificing content for the rhymes
my time is bein' pressed, competition gettin' vexed
how is your time being pressed, how is the competition gettin vexed, these are opporitunities to use wordplay
we got hood dreams baby, wanna roll in that mercedes..
smack a bitch if she late to pay me, then charge her a late fee..
jesus christ' forsake me b, this the road he paved for me
losin me at the end, first you call her baby, then you smack her, then you blame jesus?

overall not the strongest verse ive read. this seemed like a real quick keystyle and not something you put a lot of thought into. the rhyming was very simple, which isnt always bad, but every other line or so you gotta throw in a multi or some other complex rhyme. there were other times where you sacrificed content of the ideas for a rhyme, there were several opporitunities for you to use wordplay to describe how you were doing something, instead of just stating what happened. try listening to some mf doom, hes got some bananas rhymin. check out 7l & esoteric, the emcee has got some real sick wordplay. keep writin thought.

if you get a chance vote on this battle, too many people have been sleepin on it. makes sure you read the battle rules, this ones a little different from most of the others.
http://www.b-boys.com/forums/f13/jo-...-vision-12296/

suga · 10-19-2008, 08:32 PM

lol thanks for the feed.. yeah it was just a quick text. the baby n bitch, they got nothin to do with eachother aha
i say baby all the time- bitch being a hooker lol.

and its not necessarily blaming jesus or whatever, its looking at it all you know? money.. hookers.. whatever right, its like how did i get here, you feel me?..

Frank Metts · 10-19-2008, 08:54 PM

Nice little quick drop jazz the best way to get shit of your chest it to write it and u know that u def my lil hood chick I'd love to see you take some time and put all these street tales into one solid piece using multis metaphors similies and maybe a guest appearance from ohh the dopest white boy in america * hint hint *

DA BIGGEST · 10-21-2008, 08:52 AM

Another decent drop girly.

yeah man, i'm gettin mine.. grew up broke takin' hand outs
my daddy gone astray, took my soul when he ran out

we got hood dreams baby, wanna roll in that mercedes..
smack a bitch if she late to pay me, then charge her a late fee..

^^Those were my favorite bars.

KOS

suga · 10-21-2008, 11:25 AM

lol thanks 4 da feed.. n maybe ill get on that when i got a minute metts

KempoMRK · 10-21-2008, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suga

lol thanks 4 da feed.. n maybe ill get on that when i got a minute metts

http://www.b-boys.com/forums/f110/yo...ing-any-12372/

Drop a reply.

10-19-2008, 07:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
suga Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: edmonton Posts: 312	grind i'm balls deep on the grind, i told my mama i'ma shine told that hoe to get in line, turned a trick into a dime yeah man, i'm gettin mine.. grew up broke takin' hand outs my daddy gone astray, took my soul when he ran out all for the best, left a hole in my chest if i saw 'em today, probly strapped wit' a vest pussy bitches turn to cowards at they best when they stress so i quit smokin' sess, put myself to the test my time is bein' pressed, competition gettin' vexed we got hood dreams baby, wanna roll in that mercedes.. smack a bitch if she late to pay me, then charge her a late fee.. jesus christ' forsake me, this the road he paved me __________________ Now who's that peaking in my window Nobody cus I live in a penthouse Baby I'm sorry but I'm sexy And all I want you to do is just bless me, lets see This kid that I'm waiting on He said he loves when my jeans look painted on Wit a tight white tee, you aint quite like me Probably why I'm always getting hated on

10-19-2008, 08:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
jo nathan that's my rap name Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: New Haven Posts: 70	i'm balls deep on the grind, i told my mama i'ma shine told that hoe to get in line, turned a trick into a dime nice use of internal rhyming, makes it flow a lot better, somewhat simplistic ideas, however yeah man, i'm gettin mine.. grew up broke takin' hand outs my daddy gone astray, took my soul when he ran out decent rhyme, good flow all for the best, left a hole in my chest if i saw 'em today, probly strapped wit' a vest overly simple rhyme pussy bitches turn to cowards at they best when they stress so i quit smokin' sess, put myself to the test it seems like youre sacrificing content for the rhymes my time is bein' pressed, competition gettin' vexed how is your time being pressed, how is the competition gettin vexed, these are opporitunities to use wordplay we got hood dreams baby, wanna roll in that mercedes.. smack a bitch if she late to pay me, then charge her a late fee.. jesus christ' forsake me b, this the road he paved for me losin me at the end, first you call her baby, then you smack her, then you blame jesus? overall not the strongest verse ive read. this seemed like a real quick keystyle and not something you put a lot of thought into. the rhyming was very simple, which isnt always bad, but every other line or so you gotta throw in a multi or some other complex rhyme. there were other times where you sacrificed content of the ideas for a rhyme, there were several opporitunities for you to use wordplay to describe how you were doing something, instead of just stating what happened. try listening to some mf doom, hes got some bananas rhymin. check out 7l & esoteric, the emcee has got some real sick wordplay. keep writin thought. if you get a chance vote on this battle, too many people have been sleepin on it. makes sure you read the battle rules, this ones a little different from most of the others. http://www.b-boys.com/forums/f13/jo-...-vision-12296/ __________________ 'I hold the microphone like a grudge'-Rakim

10-19-2008, 08:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
suga Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: edmonton Posts: 312	lol thanks for the feed.. yeah it was just a quick text. the baby n bitch, they got nothin to do with eachother aha i say baby all the time- bitch being a hooker lol. and its not necessarily blaming jesus or whatever, its looking at it all you know? money.. hookers.. whatever right, its like how did i get here, you feel me?.. __________________ Now who's that peaking in my window Nobody cus I live in a penthouse Baby I'm sorry but I'm sexy And all I want you to do is just bless me, lets see This kid that I'm waiting on He said he loves when my jeans look painted on Wit a tight white tee, you aint quite like me Probably why I'm always getting hated on

10-19-2008, 08:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
Frank Metts Mr. Toilet, im the shit Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Baltimore, Md Posts: 1,196	Nice little quick drop jazz the best way to get shit of your chest it to write it and u know that u def my lil hood chick I'd love to see you take some time and put all these street tales into one solid piece using multis metaphors similies and maybe a guest appearance from ohh the dopest white boy in america * hint hint * __________________ R.I.P Franklin Delano Metts 8/15/1934 - 12/18/2008 DOHpe. -Evidence Of Evolution-

10-21-2008, 11:25 AM	#6 (permalink)
suga Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: edmonton Posts: 312	lol thanks 4 da feed.. n maybe ill get on that when i got a minute metts __________________ Now who's that peaking in my window Nobody cus I live in a penthouse Baby I'm sorry but I'm sexy And all I want you to do is just bless me, lets see This kid that I'm waiting on He said he loves when my jeans look painted on Wit a tight white tee, you aint quite like me Probably why I'm always getting hated on

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