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| Poetry Café Post up your poetry and share feedback with other aspiring poets. What's in your head? |
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10-29-2007, 05:05 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6
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MY DARKNESS REMAINS
I OPEN MY HEART AND POUR OUT WHAT BLEEDS
MY MIND FUCKED UP WITH THESE TANGLED DREAMS DEMONS CALLIN ME, MY SOUL IT FIGHTS MY FRAGMENTS SEPARATE AS MY HAND STILL WRITES HEAR ME NOW THESE WORDS I SCREAM NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN MY LIFE IT SEEMS. IVE BEEN AWAY SO LONG, NO ONE REMEMBER’S ME UNTIL YOU FEEL MY PAIN AND ENTER MY INSANTIY COME TO ME, CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT, I TASTE THE WORDS U FEED OPEN YOUR SOUL, YOUR MINDS AND FEEL WHAT I BLEED I’M STILL ALONE, AND TRAPPED INSIDE, ENTER MY HELL SO I’LL NEVER DIE. YEAH IT'S ME ALL WHO REMEMBER I STILL POST IN CAPS......LOL PZ ICEQUEEN |
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10-29-2007, 07:38 PM
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#2 (permalink) | |
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 490
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Decent read. I do remember u. This one seems familiar to your old writes.
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Been rippin since 02, so it's old news. My lines like bazookas put a donut hole thru ya whole crew. Quote:
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10-30-2007, 06:18 PM
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#3 (permalink) | |
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SuperMOD!!
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Igloo Projects
Posts: 3,422
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yo to the yo, I'm not so much familiar with your previous works...one or two I've seen but that was awhile ago, and my memory's horrible. But what I do remember is that your Anamosity's mom, so make sure he gets makin tracks again...and eats all his vegetables at dinner too
 About the piece tho, I was feelin the first chunk more than the second. I felt I was able to relate to the first part alot, and maybe not to you...but to the lyrics in general, ya know? You kinda lost me with the second part, but this was still a decent drop without doubt. Be easy yo. KOS
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Real Eyes Realize Real Lies Quote:
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10-31-2007, 04:38 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 201
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Eh, sorry but I didn't particularly enjoy this piece. It seemed overly cliche and overdone to me. As I read it I felt like I was reading a fourteen year old's journal that I had already read a thousand times.
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http://www.myspace.com/stereodanger |
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11-30-2007, 06:57 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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...I Retired my Hand...
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 984
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i liekd this girl, keep it up... return the fav...1
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G.O.T ...Ghosts of Text... _____________________________________________ New Topicals ...Pun-Intended... Trials of Pain Vol.1 feat. Arch Angel storm is here Peace of Mind The Metamorphasis Frozen in Time Open Battles alpha stratus vs arch angel Victories 6 Losses 1 |
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