Untitled (Suggestions Appreciated) - B-Boys.com - Hip-Hop Forums

Sha-Sha · 05-02-2008, 02:01 PM

As the sunlight peaks over the horizon
And the morning rays flow across your brown skin
Your eyes open.
Only to be joyously be greeted by my smile
Seeing as your pure essence spreads joy across my face.
As I am captivated by your dark brown eyes that glisten as you look into mine
I replay last night’s activities back in my mind of you and I
Lying across my bed, our body’s intertwined
As our poetry is recording itself onto my sheets
Since neither one of us can bare to speak our true feelings
Of how a bond like ours could never be remade, broken, or swayed.
At that moment I fast forward my thoughts back to my present state of mind
As I lay here in front of you, longing for these moments to be only yours
I must realize you have another life to live and so do I.
So we must pause…..
And bask in the joy of each others presence at this time
Even though it kills me to hear you say goodbye and walk out that door
Leaving me with the painful reminder that you’re not mine anymore
And even though we’ve shared that time
Nothing can compare to when I was yours and you were mine
But I keep quiet and let my poetic soul speak
Hoping that somewhere deep inside you,
You will see that with me is where you’re meant to be.

jay.robinson15 · 05-14-2008, 06:32 AM

How about "Feels So Good" for a title? I really like your work. You have good word choice and it sounds genuine.

speakeasy602 · 05-21-2008, 09:21 PM

That's dope, kinda girly, but dope. You're probably a girl, so I'll shut up.

You should call it "Remnipresence"

Sha-Sha · 06-08-2008, 09:13 PM

Thanks Jay & Speakeasy for the feedback.
Oh yea and speakeasy yea, I'm a girl!...lol

ucjr05 · 06-09-2008, 08:20 AM

Pretty hot I dont know if you got music to go along with it but if you need music check out ubnation.net. This is site has all kinds of beats and lets you download them for free.

05-02-2008, 02:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sha-Sha Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 14	Untitled (Suggestions Appreciated) As the sunlight peaks over the horizon And the morning rays flow across your brown skin Your eyes open. Only to be joyously be greeted by my smile Seeing as your pure essence spreads joy across my face. As I am captivated by your dark brown eyes that glisten as you look into mine I replay last night’s activities back in my mind of you and I Lying across my bed, our body’s intertwined As our poetry is recording itself onto my sheets Since neither one of us can bare to speak our true feelings Of how a bond like ours could never be remade, broken, or swayed. At that moment I fast forward my thoughts back to my present state of mind As I lay here in front of you, longing for these moments to be only yours I must realize you have another life to live and so do I. So we must pause….. And bask in the joy of each others presence at this time Even though it kills me to hear you say goodbye and walk out that door Leaving me with the painful reminder that you’re not mine anymore And even though we’ve shared that time Nothing can compare to when I was yours and you were mine But I keep quiet and let my poetic soul speak Hoping that somewhere deep inside you, You will see that with me is where you’re meant to be.

05-14-2008, 06:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
jay.robinson15 Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 45	How about "Feels So Good" for a title? I really like your work. You have good word choice and it sounds genuine. __________________ Celebrate the moment Cheap Roca Wear

05-21-2008, 09:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
speakeasy602 hiphopvillage.org Join Date: May 2008 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 13	That's dope, kinda girly, but dope. You're probably a girl, so I'll shut up. You should call it "Remnipresence" __________________ Free Hip Hop Promotion for Undiscovered Artists Trying to Make it. Go To: http://www.hiphopvillage.org and sign up as part of our community. Hip Hop Village \| Beater Magazine \| YBMF

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06-08-2008, 09:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sha-Sha Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 14	Thanks Jay & Speakeasy for the feedback. Oh yea and speakeasy yea, I'm a girl!...lol

06-09-2008, 08:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
ucjr05 Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 8	Pretty hot I dont know if you got music to go along with it but if you need music check out ubnation.net. This is site has all kinds of beats and lets you download them for free.